


Wild's Magic Shop Incorrect Quotes

by Talonea



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom
Genre: Incorrect Quotes, The only reason I am doing this is because I am too tired to panic about social stuff like normal, Wild's Magic Shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-09 03:17:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18908437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talonea/pseuds/Talonea
Summary: aka we have a shit ton of incorrect quotes in the shop, and I wanna shareBtw we found all these who knows where so more than likely there will be no source, sorryI just see it from the server, copy&paste it to a doc, then move it here sorryAlso, tons of spelling+grammer mistakes because once again, I c&p it to a doc then to here. I dont bother to fix it.  Sorry ig





	1. Part 1 ig

Legend: hold the fuck up  
Ravio: excuse me?  
Legend: I said hold the fuck up  
Legend: Im the fuck up. Hold me  
^^ talo  
Time: Wild would throw himself in front of a galloping horse for you!  
Twi: Wild would throw himself in front of a galloping horse just for fun  
^^ talo  
\--  
Judge: i hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison  
Wind: -Whispers to Lawyer-  
Lawyer: you honor, my client politely requests for one year to be added to his sentence  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend, probably: Just remember! Nobody will ever be able to hate you more than you already hate yourself  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warriors: wait so Sun kissed you and you said "thank you"?  
Sky, a poof ball: Yes  
Warriors: well that was very polite  
^^ talo  
\--  
Twi: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something.  
Wild: You left me in the parking lot three weeks ago.  
Twi: I did that on purpose.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: There's a literal monster under my bed.  
Legend, in the bunk bed under Ravio: shut the fuck up!!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Four: synchronize your watches  
Wild: I dont know how to do that  
Twi: I dont wear a watch  
Time: time is a construct  
^^ talo  
\--  
Hyrule: Life is soup. I am fork.  
Four, crying: What the fuck does that even mean?!?!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warriors: I cant believe... -looks at wind-  
Warriors, covering Wind's ears: ...Legend...  
Warriors, uncovering Wind's ears: ...FUCKING did that  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio: and what are those there, sweetie?  
Baby Legend: My hopes and dreams!  
Ravio: can I see them?? I want to show you a magic trick.  
Baby Legend, handing them to him.  
Ravio, ripping them in half.  
Baby Legend: D:  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Malon: i can fit the whole world in my hands  
Time: no you cant thats imposs-  
Malon: -picks up time-  
Time, a tomato: i have a reputation  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: but who can I trust?  
Ravio: Yourself?  
Legend: -scoffs- no  
\-- or --  
Wild: but who can I trust?  
Twi: Yourself?  
Wild: -scoffs- no  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: Hey I'm depressed.  
The rest of the Links: Oh mood.  
Ravio: what the fuCK?!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: How tall are you?  
Legend wearing stilts: Height is a social construct.  
Ravio: So you're short?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: how tall are you?  
Legend: high  
Ravio: ...so are you telling me you are high and will answer me later or??  
^^ talo  
\--  
Warriors: I need you to do something strange for me without asking questions.  
Flora: Isn't that what this friendship is built on?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: -holds up Ravio-  
Warriors: aww thats so sweet!  
Ravio: I CANT GET A SIGNAL!!!  
Legend: TRY HARDER!  
Warriors: never mind....  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio: Is anyone else scared?  
Legend: Not really, I've already lived longer than I expected.  
Wild: I've got this under control!  
Twi: Is that why everything is on fire?!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: But who can I trust?  
Marin and Ravio: ...yourself?  
Legend: scoffs No.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wind: what does "take out" mean?  
Sky: food  
Warriors: dating  
Legend: murder  
Wild: it can be all three if you're bold enough  
^^ Orphis  
\--  
Warriors: You saved my life!  
Legend: Well, anyone can make a mistake.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: where the fuck is my vinegar?  
Ravio: language!!  
Legend: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking vinegar??  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Time or Legend: Don't wanna sound like a slut, but I really need a hug right now.  
^^ Orphis  
\--  
Time: Birth is a curse and existence is pain.  
^^ Orphis  
\--  
Sky: Ok now that he's gone to the bathroom here's a documentary on why I think Time is a vampire  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wind: Back when I was a kid-  
Legend: You mean yesterday?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wind: I have 69 cents.  
Warriors: You know what that means?  
Wind, crying: I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warriors: I’m not mad, just tell me why you have a fake ID  
Wind: incoherent mumbling  
Warriors: What?  
Wind: You have to be over 18 at PetCo to hold the puppies...  
Warriors: …  
^^ Orphis  
\--  
Fable, to Legend: Don't be ashamed of who you are.  
Fable: That's your parent's job.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Smol Time at 3am: Papa, wake up! It's urgent!  
FD, worried: What is it?!  
Smol Time: If butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?  
FD:  
FD: Kid I swear…  
^^ Orphis  
\--  
Legend: I hate you!  
Warriors: Oh yeah? I hate you too!  
Legend, sobbing: you WHAT?!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: Hey doc are my results ready. I’m dying from curiosity.  
Doctor: I can tell you now. It’s not just curiosity.  
Wild: what?  
Doctor: what?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Time: What would you do if there was a child in front of you?  
Legend, running up and slapping Wind:  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Waffle runs into the room with a grin: TRUST FALL!!  
Iron, in the middle of putting dishes away, armful of them, looks at him with big eyes: NO WAIT-  
Waffle turns around and starts to fall backwards and Iron drops the dishes to rush over and catch him before he can whack his head on the floor.  
^^ Deanna (aka our Goddess)  
\--  
Waffle, upon first meeting Iron: I hope you have a good day!  
Iron: That's a lot of pressure. I haven't had a good day in six years.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Waffle: :O  
Waffle, cracking knuckles: Bitch buckle up you're about to have the best day of your fucking life  
Iron: F E A R  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Iron: why are you following me? I don't know you!!  
Waffle; I'm going to make sure you have a good day, every day  
Iron: F E A R  
^^ Int  
\--  
Waffle: Okay where is he?  
Fable: He's screaming into the void on the roof again.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Iron: *wakes up to Waffle leaning over him with breakfast* HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE  
Waffle: Rise and shine bitch I'm making today amazing  
^^ Int  
\--  
Waffle: I made you chicken and waffles!  
Iron: Marry me  
Waffle: What?  
Iron: What?  
^^ Int  
\--  
Iron is taking a shower or something and Waffle walks in: Hey I'm making- stop screaming it's just me. Do you want blueberry or strawberry jam on your toast?  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Waffle: My idiot senses are tingling.  
Waffle: yeets to Iron  
^^ Deanna


	2. fruitsandyogurtfruitsandyogurtfruitsandyogurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for quotes and such with little to no context?!  
> Dont worry I might be nice and tell you when the topic switches.. maybe. Unless I forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~ is the topic changer, if there was a group  
> \-- just to break up all the things

Wild: fruitsandyogurtfruitsandyogurtfruitsandyogurt  
Iron: *crying* Please stop my house is flooded with yogurt  
^^ Int  
\--  
Twi: shhhhhhhh you cannot escape it  
^^Angst Waffle  
\--  
Wild fills the bathtub with fruits and yogurt  
Wild: Bone apple teeth  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Iron: But what about the cake?  
Wild: SHHHHH NO CAKE only yogurt  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Iron: why would you do this to me  
Wild: healthy bacteria  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Waffles: Do we still get the wedding topper?   
Wild: Out of fruit  
Waffles: Can they be chocolate covered?  
Wild: ...Fine, but only because you're the one asking  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio: Can we please have some real food?  
Wild: Fine...but only for you...  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: just this once... then I'll make yogurt again :D  
^^ Orphis

~~~~~~~~  
Ravio when it’s tax season in Hyrule: yeet  
Legend: RAVIO GET TF BACK HERE!!!!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Oh look time for my yearly trip back to Lorule  
Legend: NO  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: oh no...Princess Hilda is calling. I have to leave.  
Legend trying to stop him from shrinking into the shadows: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!!!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend, fucking sweating, realizes he needs a new tactic: B-but baby bun!  
Ravio: ....shit  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend seemingly goes to hug Ravio.  
Legend when he's right beside Ravio's ear: pay your fucking taxes  
^^ Jeen

~~~~~~~~  
Time, looking down at the white chocolate M&Ms on his shrine: You fool. You absolute buffoon. You think you can challenge me in my own realm? You think you can rebel against my authority? You dare come into my house and upturn my chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? You thought you were safe in that chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floorboards and destroy you. I didn't want war but I didn't start it.  
^^ Bali  
\--  
Twi, to baby Wild: Wild! What's that in your hand?  
Wild: An ancient tome of dark spells!!  
Twi: NO!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: (makes a circle with his hands)  
Wolf Twi: (stares him down from across the room)  
Wild: (looks ever the slightest bit sad)  
Wolf Twi: ugh fine (Trots over and shoves his face into the circle, forcing Wild to hug him)  
Wild: :D  
^^ Lobs  
~~~~~~~~  
Legend, with one hand to his chest the other to his forehead: Oh no! A monster! If only there was a handsome, rugged, and amazing hero to save me!  
Ravio: Yeah too bad he doesn't exist  
Legend, throwing something at him: Jackass!  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend, falling onto Ravio's shoulder: Oh mr.hero! You're so smol but stronk. You are the best friend a little rabbit man like me could ever have  
Ravio, shoving Legend onto the floor: I would never say stonk, what are you doing???  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend, leaning heavily into him: Oh no! Gravity is increasing! Mr. Hero save me!  
Ravio: Stop it!  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio, pouting like a child: My name is Link, and I'm a grumpy boy. Fear my tiny body and rat army.  
Legend: -G a s p-  
^^ Jeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...this is more like ao3 shitposting tbh, maybe I should look into posting this stuff on tumblr instead?


	3. Cronch the Rocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit some of these has context wtf

Ravio: Aww are you falling for me?  
Legend, on the ground after trying to dab with his legs:  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wind: Hey guys if you eat plant food will you die?  
Time: Probably not but i strongly suggest against it. Why?  
Wild: trying to escape out the window. face covered in plant food  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
crunch crunch crunch  
Sky: hey what are you eating wild?  
Wild: ...  
Sky: can I have some?  
Wild: sure thing  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Wild, eating rocks: Cronch  
Sky, also eating rocks after seeing Wild: Cronch Cronch  
Twilight: Why are you two like this?!  
^^ talo  
\--  
Sky: I like the smooth ones  
Time:  
Time: ...wILD!?!  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Wild: oh gosh how can you mix mayo and orange juice??  
Also wild: hey have you tried this organic plant food?  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Sky: it's nice when you can clean off the extra gravel  
Time panicking: wh- what do you mean clean off the extra gravel  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Time. running to Malon: Please, honey, I don't understand what the boy is talking about.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Sky: here I have one for you too!  
Time: !?!?!  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Time: Why did no one warn me he was chaotic too?!  
Sun: he flies around the speed of sound facing upwards with his eyes closed  
Time: How did I not see it  
^^ Books  
\--  
Time, crying in Malon's arms: Honey they're so chaotic.  
Malon, patting his hair: Oh sweetie, it's funny you think you're not.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: aw yeh, food is just a stone's throw away  
He says as he picks a stone off the floor and swallows it  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Twi walks in and sees Time crying on Malon's shoulder, Sky holding a rock out to a very confused Legend, and Wild crunching on something.  
Twi: -walks right back out-  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(talo: ok but get this, Twi is also doggo  
Doggos like to nom on things  
Like bones  
Twi walking around with a bone in his mouth while his more chaotic lil brother walks around eating plant food and rocks or maybe Twi is just carrying a stick in his mouth, while in normal body cause he forgot he was holding it in wolfie form?)  
\--  
Wild @ Twi: Hypocrite!  
^^ Books  
\--  
~~~~~~~~  
(Context time! These next few are from the shop, in this situation some old rude person sees Wild’s scars and figures out his past! Long story short, no one is happy about it and a certain wolfie may wanna get revenge)

Wild: Time, have you seen Twilight?  
Time, causally doing a crossword in his paper: No, can't say I have.  
Wild: That's weird.  
Time: Oh I'm sure he's fine  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio: smiling innocently. I beg your mcfucking pardon sir?  
Legend: hahaha we’re all so fucked now.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Link, hold my bunny hair clip  
Legend, slightly terrified: Y-yeah I got your hair clip, hun. I'm just gonna, ya know, hold it over here behind the counter where it's safe.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Guy, wrinkling his nose and making a face: Oh, it's a Lorulian too. I see this shop is a gathering place for filth.  
Legend's head pops out of wherever he was hiding, death glaring: Four, get the shovel  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: Hi sir may I offer a special deal for you? Look at this great mystical stone! Never before seen by the human eye!  
Legend: presents a gravestone with the person’s name in it-  
Legend, whispering: If you run I will find you  
^^ Jeen  
~~~~~~~~  
(Randoms with no context again!)

Legend: Sure, I’d love to see Twilight get punched in the face  
Both Wild and Ravio: Try that again.  
Legend, S W E A T I N G: I… will… not let him get punched?  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Wind walks up to Wild: I want to see you something!  
Wild: Okay, what is it?  
Wind: -lifts up a card that says Greatest Big Brother on it- It only costs one hug!  
^^ Windy  
\--  
Warriors: wow what an interesting cosplay Sky how long did it take for you to make  
^^ Lobs  
\--  
Ravio in Legend’s body: Who wants a hug!  
Wild: I want a Legend hug! He wont let me hug him!  
Legend: NooooOOOO  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: you get one hug, four to five seconds  
Wild and Ravio: FOURTY FIVE SECONDS?!  
Legend: No that’s not-!  
Wild and Ravio: -already hugging him-  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend, when Ravio is mad at him: astral projection, Rat style  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend, trying to tease Ravio: So you think I’m brave, huh? You look up to me.  
Ravio, smiling: Of course I do! You’re my hero!  
Legend, melting: Wait no-  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio in Legend’s body walking into the shop for the first time: I-Im sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, but do you think you could help us?  
Wild and Twi staring at him with wide, fearful, and shocked eyes. Wild slowly falls backwards and faints:   
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend, salty for some reason…. Probably over the pants dare: I dare you to dress up like a rat.  
Ravio: >:0  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Fine! -just pulls on Legend’s hoodie and takes off his jeans to sit in his underwear- There! Now I look just like you, rat boy!  
Legend: >:0  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: -throws chocolate at Twi-  
Twi: -pretends to die-  
Legend, panicking: Wait no I’m sorry please don’t die!!  
Twi, also panicking: oh my goddess he’s so soft wtf??  
^^ Jeen


	4. Get Help!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you see writing like this, inside parentheses, it means it is coming from the server, more than likely to give context or whatever idk)

Landlord sprays Legend.  
Ravio: WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP IT  
Landlord: You were complaining about rats!  
Ravio: ....  
Ravio: You're right, please continue  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: Traitor!!  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: RAVIO I’M LEAVING YOU!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: that’s it! I want a divorce!  
Ravio: we were married in this realm??  
^^ talo  
\--  
(Jeen: Plot twist the landlord is Marin  
she got a job, making sure Legend and Ravio don't become bigger disasters than before  
Deanna: Like where is Legend gonna go? Ravio is staying in his house)  
\--  
Legend: -g a s p- Two traitors!!  
^^ talo  
\--  
Marin: I’m sorry Link but I have to do this  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: thats it I’m divorcing both of you!  
Ravio+Marin: we were married??  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend leaves. Ravio and Marin stare at the door then Marin says "I'll give him two days."  
Ravio: "Pshh I'll give him 2 hours."  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: That's it I'm leaving you for Warriors.  
Marin: How can you leave us for Warriors when I am leaving you for Warriors?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: wait, Warriors is cheating on me?! Three traitors!!  
^^ talo  
\--  
Marin: Ok fine. I’ll leave you for your sister.  
Legend: NO NOT FABLE  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(Jeen: the rats are a cult that follow Legend as their god)  
\--  
Legend, sitting next to Time: it is truly hard being a god huh  
Ravio, sweeping away more rats that followed them: please help  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio: I’m leaving you to start the rabbit empire  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(Jeen: Legend to Ravio: Let’s do get help  
talo: Wait is Legend gonna throw Ravio? Or is Ravio gonna throw Legend?  
Jeen: Legend’s going to throw Ravio  
talo: Cause I am just picturing a group of monsters popping up and Ravio just yeeting Legend into them while he runs up a tree)  
\--  
Ravio: If we do get help I’m throwing you this time.  
Legend: Wait n-  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(talo: Too late, Legend has been yeeted   
Oh no there he goes  
Bye legend  
reeeeeee)  
~~~~~~~~  
(Context Time!  
talo: New awful idea, Legend goes the Wild route and has a secret basement, Ravio stumbles upon it one day, goes down the stairs and it’s just...  
Rats.. rats everywhere   
Rat houses, rat cars, rat elevators, rat celebrities Rats  
and also one sole bun that has a rat tail taped on  
Jeen: haha  
it’s also where he keeps Majora’s mask  
oops who put that there?)  
\--  
Ravio, looking at the mask and then to the rats: Yeah the rats are worse…  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind, upon hearing Ravio complaining about this new secret basement he found that holds a shitton of rats: Basement??  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind, dragging ravio to Wild's Basement: FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE FOUND IT. But I haven't stumbled into the rat room so you'll have to show me that   
Wild, sharpening a knife: I guess you have to go to the wizard too Ravio  
^^ Books  
\--  
Ravio, ever confused and slightly scared at the idea of another basement: ???  
Wild: hey legend how do you feel about a house with only rats?  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: I’m listening. But what happened to Ravio?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: oh he is just meeting up with a old friend, i think it was a wizard  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind+Ravio, the basement explorers, ft, dungeon boss Wild  
^^ talo  
\--  
Twi, telling Time about the latest thing Wild burnt: Why do i feel like Wild is planning something..  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind: oh don’t worry he is just trying to scare ya, if you keep exploring we might get a free teddy!!  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind: let me show you around I know this labyrinth pretty well if I say so myself!  
^^ Books  
\--  
Wild: ffs stay out of my basement you little shits  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: hey is it illegal to murder a lil shit?  
Twi: yes wild...  
Wild: okay but hear me out, “they are lil shits”  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind: this so the fabric room the only room someone outside the two of us an wild is seen, I took warriors here first and that was a mistake because it activate show tunnel vision  
^^ Books  
\--  
Wind: and this is how you pick one of Wild’s locks, quite different from normal locks  
^^ talo  
\--  
Wind, with a gun: Just take out your trusty lock pick.  
Wind shoots the door handle: And boom! You’re in!  
^^ Jeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have me and Jeen going crazy over 50% off  
> wow for once I will have a source other than the server...


	5. 50% Off!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wind, with a gun: Just take out your trusty lock pick.  
> Wind shoots the door handle: And boom! You’re in!  
> ^^ Jeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also btw this is all from 50% off, Jeen and I both watched it, and well we went a lil crazy when we realized that someone else knew of it

Twi: "We're not gonna kill anyone,"  
Wild: "Then I got nothing"  
^^ talo  
\--  
Hyrule, watching Warriors and Legend fighting: Guys, you cant do this!  
Four: no no let them do it, if things get ugly i brought some stuff from the old yard they could fight with  
^^ talo  
\--  
Twilight: I assure you I will not embarrass myself like last time.  
Also Twilight: the Rei yell as he transforms into a wolf  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Wild: dammit they got me again  
Demon Voice: You should kill them all Wild  
Wild: Okay  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: DONT STEAL MY BONES!!  
Warriors:...what?  
Legend: Sorry guys I’m just afraid if the ocean goblin. It lives in the ocean and steals your bones if you don’t brush your teeth.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(talo: wait I got one better)  
Wind: DONT STEAL MY BONES!!  
Tetra:...what?  
Wind: Sorry guys I’m just afraid if the ocean goblin. It lives in the ocean and steals your bones if you don’t brush your teeth.  
^^ talo  
\--  
Twilight: Hey Wild what you staring at?  
Wild: Dead alien.  
Twilight: Okay time to go  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(Jeen: Wild doing the entire Haru’s brain thing  
this is why Wild has no memories. Someone shot the Wild that can remember the champions)  
\--  
Wind: The ocean...it wants...blood.  
Tetra: Ok I think I made you drink too much sea water  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
.Wild, blank faced at a wall while Twi continues talking: -arson sure is fun, you know what else is fun? killing everyone. That doesnt sound fun at all Wild. Well how would you know? All you do is cook Wild! I think Wild is right, i think we should branch out in our hobbies Wild. Oh (fire noise) . Wild, Twi stopped talking, he wants you to respond!- Say something stupid!  
Wild: I wasnt thinking about killing you  
Twi: awww thank you!  
Wild: Nailed it  
^^ talo  
\--  
FD: this is a big pool, how many bodies you think could fit in here? I say.. a lot, yea looks like a lot  
^^ talo  
(talo: Or that could be Wild? maybe Legend?)  
\--  
Wild 1: You know what I’m sick of? All you’re shit Wild! Im assuming direct control now!!  
Wild 2: WILD NO!  
Wild 3 as 1 and 2 fight: Oh my god he’s got a gun!!  
gunshot  
Wild 1: Everyone step away from the brain!  
Wild 3: He shot Wild!!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Ten rupees says he dies  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: Yo, Twilight, i dont think you should have busted through that police barricade, they really seem like they want to arrest us now.  
Wind: It did cut our trip time in half  
Legend: That it did, thanks Wind, silver linings  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: Oh just some basic addition and subtraction. He subtracted from my profits so i’m going to add a few holes to him.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
-inside Wild's mind-  
-Flame Noises instead of smoking-  
Wild 1: Wild what are you doing?  
Wild 2: Wild said we were gonna do arson then watch cooking shows, i wanna see some cookies  
Wild 1: You really shouldnt be burning things in here  
Wild 2: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell Twi?  
Wild 1: Im not gonna tell Twi  
Wild 2: You're gonna tell Twi! Arent you? You Nark  
Wild 1: Wild dont call me a nark  
Wild 2: Well thats what you are Nark. Lil narky narc, Nark Walberg. mmmh? Nark Ruffalo mmh?  
Wild 1: Im not a nark, please stop calling me a nark  
Wild 2: Nark Skeesasie  
Wild 1: that one doesnt even make sense  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio, meeting Legend: Bitch you gonna be mine  
Legend: I beg your pardon?  
Ravio: nothing.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Hey run buns!  
Legend: That is not my name.  
Ravio: But you like to run and I like your buns.  
Legend: I wish I was dead  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
(The next part isnt from 50% off but was inspired by it)  
Wild 1: You know i think we should make cookies for twi  
Wild 2: uh? no? we made that yesterday lets make brownies  
Wild 3: We made that yesterday too! Lets just make a cake!  
Wild 4: Ya know i think i agree with Wild, lets make a cake  
Wild 5: What?! No! Cookies ftw!  
Wild 6: How about Murder?  
Wild 7: Nah lets go with Wild and make brownies!  
More Wilds come in and a fight starts up  
Outside Wild: -Just makes everything-  
^^ talo


	6. Chapter 6

Warriors: guys I'm a bad fake boyfriend I can't go to the party she need me at so we need a replacement and a breakup story  
Legend: What do we get?  
Warriors: Yo have fun with my best friend and slander my name?  
Legend: I'm in!  
^^ Books  
\--  
Wild: have you noticed that whenever Ravio and Legend come over half my flowers disappear???  
Twi: *knows Ravio eats them* I don't know maybe you're making it up in your head  
Wild: Between you and me, I think Legend is eating the flowers  
^^ Int  
\--  
Ravio: yea you are right, i just didnt want to say anything, you know how he gets embarrassed  
Legend: -too busy sneezing to rat screech-  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio: I'm going to make you a good person!  
Legend: Pshh good luck with that  
Ravio: I will hug you so tight until all the bad is squeezed out!  
Legend: Wait no  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: already screaming  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio: Step one to become a functional person, take a shower!  
Legend: *screaming*  
Rats: ha  
Ravio: If you want to stay that includes you   
Rats: SCREECH  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: I will never be a soft, Functioning individual!!   
Ravio: Exists  
Legend: Oh no  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: Wow I'm sad.  
Ravio, Marin and Fable all sliding into the room: Allow us to introduce ourselves  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: Dont fuck with me I was born half rat  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: *talking to himself* God I wish I were full rat  
Ravio: you already are  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: in my next life I want to be reborn as a rat.  
Ravio: You mean you already aren't?  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: Ravio! Activate Magic Ability!!!  
Ravio: *jazz hands*  
^^ Int  
\--  
Warriors: Why did you fire the signal flare?!  
Legend: Maybe it was to signal you to shut the fuck up  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: 9 out of 10 doctors recommend you stop being a little bitch  
^^ talo  
\--  
Ravio: owo give me your mcfucking money  
^^ Angst Waffles/Legendary   
\--  
Ravio: Buy our shit  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: Ugh youre not fun. Im gonna pick on Ravio instead  
Blue Four: Why dont you just fucking marry him already.  
Legend, reappearing so fast: MCFUCKING CUSE ME?!  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Wind+Wild: Baby shark Dododododododo  
Everyone else: please.. Someone.. Make it stop…  
^^ talo  
\--  
Legend: *holding a box that's squeaking* Ravio I got you a gift!  
Ravio: if that's a rat I'm divorcing you  
Legend: ...   
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: slowly puts the box away  
Ravio: Your signature, hand it over.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: pulls the disguise off the bunny AHA! You just denied your own kin!  
Ravio:...this is precisely why I need you to sign these divorce papers  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend, gremlin smiling: We're not married in Hyrule, rabbit boy  
Ravio: you fucking rat bit-  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Ravio, a month later: Marry me in Hyrule.  
Legend: ok.  
Ravio, on the honeymoon: I want a divorce  
Legend: But we just got-! Oh this is for that thing- Oh you asshole.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio: By the way this gives me half of your stuff. Hand it over.  
Legend: what the fuck?????!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend: Ugh I got fucking lectured about my hair and being a degenerate today by some hag while in Starbucks.  
Ravio: Wait really? I don't remember that.  
Legend: You got really excited about someone's rabbit backpack and the whole fucking world tuned out. I could have been stabbed and you wouldn't have noticed.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio: These colors clash so much why do you wear this?  
Legend: I'm color blind  
Warriors: this explains so much  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: press X for bs excuse  
Legend: pressed Z  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warriors: should I put pudding in Legends hood so when he puts it on it gets on his head?  
Four and Hyrule: Yes  
^^ Int  
\--  
Warriors: Hey little voices are you sure I should give Twilight a dog bowl as a birthday present?  
Four and Hyrule: >:3 d O I T  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warrior: Should I put mud in Ravio's hood?  
Four: God no!  
Hyrule: No, he's good bun.  
Four: You'll make him cry and then you'll feel like the worst piece of shit on the face of the planet.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Four: Tell Sky his wings are very fluffy.  
Warriors: Isn't that a little weird out of nowhere.  
Hyrule: It'll make him turn into a cotton ball and it's funny.  
Warriors:  
Warriors: Shit you right.  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Legend, roaring: WHO'S THE FUCK HEAD WHO MADE RAVIO CRY  
Four, whispering to Warriors: You should start digging that grave now  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Warrior: Finally! A use for this me sized grave.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Twilight: Why do you have so many graves dug?  
Legend, hears Ravio crying and sets his shovel down to pick up a sword then walks off.  
Twilight: Ah, everything makes sense now  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Legend: *glaring at the trio while he leads a teary Ravio our of the shop* I hope you're happy >:(  
Trio: oh shit we fucked up  
^^ Int  
\--  
Legend: I'm not soft  
Sees teary eyed Ravio  
Legend: I'm soft for one thing  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Warrior: B-but it was just a joke!  
Legend: Is this funny to you? -points to crying bun-  
Warrior, in a squeaky voice: No....  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Warriors: It's just a prank bro.  
Legend: about to smite him  
Also Legend: I fucking see you Hyrule...  
^^ Jeen  
~~~~~~~~  
(Deanna; If Wild ever starts selling little plants in his shop, I could see him staring at someone to deem their worth if taking care of these babies. He can look at someone to see if theyll love them and take care of them or if theyll let them sit in the shelf and die. He will, flat out, tell someone no )   
Ravio: Aww this one's cute. Can I have this one?  
Wild: Yes you may.  
Legend: Hey-  
Wild: No.  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Warriors: h-  
Wild: no.  
Warriors: for Flora  
Wild: ...you may.  
^^ Waffles  
\--  
Time studying the shelves with the little plants then points to them as he looks at Wild: May I?  
Wild: Please  
^^ Deanna  
~~~~~~~~  
Someone calls Legend an asshole. Legend: Yup, you know it.  
Someone calls Ravio an asshole. Legend: MCFUCKIN CUSE ME???  
^^ Deanna  
\--  
Ravio doing business: Ok now pay up.  
Guy: I don't have money.  
Ravio: Ok hand over your kneecaps!  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
hilda: what do you have?  
ravio: someones organs!  
hilda: NO!?  
^^ Leg  
\--  
Legend: What do you have?  
Ravio: The deed to your house!  
Legend: NO  
^^ Jeen  
\--  
Warriors: you might be called "Legend" but we all know who the real legendary one is here  
Legend: you mothe-  
Time, sliding in with sunglasses and starbucks: Me Bitch.  
^^ talo


End file.
